Listen To Me Talk To Zerkle About Podcast Roots & Beg Him To Take Me To The Super Bowl

I was on a very special episode of The House of Punte this week, talking with Josh Zerkle, et al about the distant beginnings of our show and why in the hell I’m still doing it after almost 500 shows with no real money coming in. Josh really knows how to make a girl feel special.

Anyway, we talked about that, the party this weekend — oh, WE ARE HAVING A PARTY THIS WEEKEND IF YOU HADN’T HEARD AND IT’S SPONSORED BY CAPTAIN MORGAN AND BULLEIT BOURBON — and, for a minute or three, I beg him to take me to Dallas with him should he win the Blogger Fantasy League.

See, Zerkle’s team sucks. In a 12 team league, Zerkle’s DayQuil Fighter of the NyQuil finished 8-6, despite having the SECOND fewest points in the entire league. Look at this graphic where Matt Sebek of Joe Sports Fan decided to make fun of me, despite the fact that he scored fewer points than I did, lost to my team, and just happened to get one more win.READ MORE

Fantasy Integrity: What To Do When Your Season Is Over Before The Playoffs?

I am in three fantasy leagues this year. In my old friends league that’s a keeper league, I’m in first place heading into the playoffs (I have a bye as 6 of 12 make the playoffs).

In my second league, a non-keeper league with some show people, soccer teammates and random dudes a friend knows, I just eeked into the playoffs with a middle-of-the-pack squad. For what it’s worth, Nick is crushing everyone in that league, earning the top seed and a first round bye.

In my third and potentially most important league, I’m in last place in the BFL, sponsored by P&G. I’m on Team Gillette (seriously they have some awesome products and I totally might shave off the beard I had for, what, seven years just so I can use the phrase “Gillette is turning shaving into gliding” in a sentence and have the smooth-as-my-baby-son’s-ass face to back up that claim). I’m 3-10 with one more week to go in the regular season before a four-team playoff takes place to send one winning owner toREAD MORE

Fantasy Dilemma: When Should You Help A Contender Win?

I have a fantasy dilemma. I’m in the Blogger Fantasy League sponsored by P&G. You may have heard of it. Anyway, I’m on Team Gillette, who are like the nicest corporate folks on the planet, and my team absolutely stinks. I’ve totally let down the brand. I’m as bad as bad can be. Last week, I lost to Josh Zerkle’s team by around 50 points. (Read Jerod Morris’ recap from last week).

It’s that bad.

Now, what do I do the next few weeks? Do I try my darndest to play spoiler, or should I firesale my good players and help someone else make the playoffs? Do I pull the trigger on the fantasy football equivalent of an organ donation? My season is, after all, a train wreck.

I was faced with this dilemma last week when Aaron Schatz of Football Outsiders asked me to trade him Roddy White and one of my crappy quarterbacks for Big Ben and two of his crappier receivers. I thought about it for a day or two before I declined the deal. IREAD MORE

I Might Be Going To The Superbowl Yet, Baby

Brian Bassett, my fantasy opponent in the Blogger Fantasy League, sponsored by P&G, had the official recap this week. Go read it after you’re done reading this. But I’ll give you the best part for free:

AFC BEAST

Ray Rice – After not being able to crest the 100 yard rushing mark, or break the plane so far this season, he did both in one game, accumulating 2 TDs and 159 yards from scrimmage.  Also, Rice powered famed Rutgers apologist Dan Levy of Press Coverage to a brutal evisceration of Team What Would Revis Do. Sigh

Sigh. You see that! HE SIGH’D. Because of me. Because of Ray Rice. Because of our all-of-the-sudden fantasy juggernaut, scoring the third-most points in the league. Because we won.

We’re back, baby. Well, not back as much as here, considering our resounding victory over Bassett’s What Would Revis Do team was our first victory of the season. So, yeah, not back at all. But here. We’re here, and we’re resounding. How resounding?

How about 7.28 points of resounding. Yep, not just seven points. Seven-point-two-eight, baby.

IREAD MORE

On Vick, Kolb, Reid, Karma & Fantasy Football

I believe in Karma.

It’s a little more complex than simply ‘do good things and good things happen’ (or the converse ‘do bad things and bad things will happen’), but the general principle of being responsible for one’s actions is an important part of everyday life. More than seeking reward for being good, it’s the potential — and propensity — for Karmic retribution that should govern our decisions; do not transgress and you won’t have to pay.

The problem, of course, with believing in Karma is that not everyone else does. Karma — or whatever I’m call Karma — is more a guideline to try and be a positive part of society, and a good influence in every day life. So how can you justify watching people do terrible things — or even moderately bad things — and end up getting rewarded for it? Does Karma tell us that they’ll end up with stomach cancer later in life or that they’ll get hit by a bus or something? Does Karma tell me that I’m going to wakeREAD MORE

DL446: Jerod Morris of Midwest Sports Fans Talks Football, Fantasy, $55k Dinners & The Ibanez Effect

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Jerod Morris of Midwest Sports Fans is in our fantasy league. He picked fourth, just after me and two after Will Brinson. Morris has Adrian Peterson and suddenly with MJD and Ray Rice, respectively, Brinson and I are both 0-3 and kicking ourselves at the moment and conspiring to create a super Team Gillette out of our two terrible teams.

This show is different than most of our shows. Since Morris and I are facing each other in the Blogger Fantasy League, sponsored by P&G, we both asked the other person to be on our Friday show this week. Morris hosts a Friday Football podcast at MSF that you really should check out…and not just because I’m on it. Well, that’s mostly why.

Actually, we decided to give my listeners a little behind-the-scenes of look at the show as we taped the segment for HIS show during MY show. After going through a little explanation of what they’ve been working on at MSF and a quick breakdown of how badly I need toREAD MORE

When Rooting For Fantasy Kinda Gets In The Way of Reality

This was the year I decided I was really going to jump in with both feet and root for the hometown Iggles. Now, I’m finding it hard to root for Michael Vick.

See, I grew up a Broncos fan and, over the years, became disenfranchised disenchanted (ed note: had franchise on the brain) with the organization. Besides, it’s not like they  need me with all the Tebow bandwagoneers anyway. Alas, I found myself following the Eagles for years, but never brought myself to root for them. I suppose, in a way, I was like a lot of Eagles fans in this town: I hated them way more than I loved them.

Two years ago, I wrote something like this for The 700 Level, asking if it was okay for me to switch to the Eagles. I got killed for it, and maybe deserved the treatment I got. It turns out, you’re born an Eagles fan or your not, says the prolific commentariat at The 700 Level. Yes, being an Eagles fan is tantamount to being a homosexual. Hey,READ MORE

Media Lesson 101: A Talking Baby Is Always (Usually) Funny

We do this thing in the house where we pretend to make the baby talk by moving his lips. Hey, there’s not much you can do with a (now) five month old kid to keep the rest of the family entertained. So, every day, we let Max hold court for a little uncensored commentary. He is like a big, pudgy dummy. Wait, that came out wrong.

Anyway, sometimes Max is British. Sometimes he’s got a deeper voice than me. Sometimes, as is the case in this video, he’s a squeaky fella from the deepest parts of Brooklyn. Oh, and he knows more about Fantasy Football than me. So he’s planning to take over my Blogger Fantasy League team. Here’s the visual evidence.

Yes, this is going to be a new weekly feature. Yes, I’ll make sure he keeps it short, and funny. And yes, I think my kids are better than yours. Because they are. I don’t see your five month old son making videos about fantasy football. Schmoes.

(For a far more substantive fantasy video, check out theREAD MORE

Why I Hate One CBS Sports Writer Today (And No, It’s Not Gregg Doyel)

I may have, ahem, mentioned that I’m part of the Blogger Fantasy League where the winner gets a trip to the Super Bowl (legalese at the bottom). Each week, one of us will do a recap of the league’s games, or something funny, and link it to the official Facebook page (which you really should go to and has a ton of cool contests and whatnot).

This week, it was Will Brinson’s turn to write the recap. Think of Brinson as a Fanhouse guy? Well, he also does NFL stuff for CBSSports.com — taking all the jobs away from people who really only need one, please — and he decided to rip me for my crappy effort this week.

I hate him. And we are on Team Gillette together too. Some brand loyalty, Brinson.

Here’s what he wrote:

You may recall that I went to NFL headquarters and held a fantasy draft . Well, turns out that my turn to recap the fantasy league is the first week of the season.

Which is totally awesome because my team came out and ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED …READ MORE

DL430: What Time Is It? Football Time with Josh Zerkle of KSK & With Leather!

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Josh Zerkle of KSK and With Leather joins the show to preview the upcoming football season. Did you hear, football starts. Tonight. Yes, tonight. We talk about that.

But first, we talk about Rosh Hashanah. Should I have been taping a show during high holidays? Is it okay if I was eating apples and honey the entire time?

Zerkle is a part of the Blogger Fantasy League, sponsored by P&G. What’s that, you ask? Well, internet friend, go to the Facebook page and you can find out for yourself and potentially win fabulous prizes in the process. Now, before we proceed, I’ve been told by our legal department that we need to disclose some things first. So let’s disclose:

“The P&G Blogger Fantasy League (BFL) is a group of 12 digital sports influencers competing on the NFL.com fantasy platform for the chance to win P&G product, a donation to a local charity, and a trip to Super Bowl XLV, all furnished by P&G. The NFL Entities have not offered or sponsored the sweepstakes in any way.”

YouREAD MORE