For ZWR: The Phillies Starters As TMNT

ZWR posted a story earlier today with the Phillies Starting Rotation as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

It’s, as most are from ZWR, a great and silly post, but it had me angrily tweeting about depriving us from a bitchin’ Photoshop.

So…happy birthday, or something.

Call of the Day: What If IBM’s Watson Was An Athlete, Not A Jeopardy Contestant

Tuesday’s episode of Jeopardy was day two of the long-running game show’s three-day ad for IBM, featuring super computer Watson as one of the contestants against the show’s two greatest human champions. Watson destroyed Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter in Double Jeopardy, so much so that the segment about how smart Watson became more entertaining than the actual competition.

Now the question becomes: did IBM make Watson too smart for Jeopardy?

Obviously the answer is no, it’s impossible to make computers “too smart” for anything. But it’s pretty obvious after two days that the computer isn’t exactly set up properly for this particular game show, and the rules they had to bend to accommodate Watson have made the game more of a cheap gimmick than a true test of man-v-man-v-machine.

We mentioned this yesterday, but it bears repeating that Watson cannot see, nor hear, meaning the computer cannot digest the clue in the same manner by which the human contestants do. Watson receives the clues by text, giving the computer a clear advantage over someone who has toREAD MORE

Call of the Day: Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin Sure Can Cut A Promo

All credit goes to Greg Wyshynski for Tweeting this last night after the Steelers dispatched the Jets to get to yet another Super Bowl.

I don’t mind losing to Pittsburgh, mostly because Mike Tomlin uses his trophy interview time to cut a WWF promo.

The man sure does know how to cater to a home crowd.

What’s funny is that Tomlin’s promo is actually better than the actual wrestling promo I used to make the Photoshop. And, yes, had I thought about it leading up to the game, I totally would have done a version with Rex Ryan as King Kong Bundy pacing in the background.

DL496: HAPPY HALLEEDAYS. We Talk Cliff Lee from a Team, Media & Fan Perspective

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Jon Tannenwald from Philly.com was working when the Cliff Lee deal went down. He gives behind-the-scenes info on how it happened from the web, and print, sides. Pretty neat deadline nerdy sportswriter stuff.

Then Nick and I high five for a while. Here’s a graphic to explain how we feel in Philly today. Click it for a desktop background size version.

Call of the Day: Does Bob Papa Get Hazard Pay For Working Thursday Nights With Theismann & Millen?

I was thinking about skipping the Call of the Day today — or going with something from a different sport — so I didn’t feel obligated to force Joe Theismann and Matt Millen upon us any more than the NFL Network has inexplicably decided to do. But then I listened to two calls from Thursday night’s game and it just made this Photoshop way too obvious.

Here’s part of the transcription from the key third-down fingertip grab by Michael Jenkins during Atlanta’s last drive (WATCH THE PLAY HERE):

Papa: “Did he get the feet in, at the 44? Officials say yes.”

Millen: “He controlled it. He controlled the ball all the way through. Nice catch.”

…

Theismann: “This is one that could go either way. Truly.”

Let’s stop right there for one second. Millen saw a catch at realtime, but upon review, Theismann adds that it could go either way. That’s NOT analysis. The play is already under review at this point, so obviously it could go either way. That’s just Theismann’s way of getting in on the conversation when heREAD MORE

Kevin Garnett Needs Some PR Help. Introducing KG Apology T-Shirts

So, people aren’t buying Kevin Garnett’s explanation about his kerfuffle with Charlie Villanueva. Garnett claims he called Villanueva “cancerous” and not, as CV Tweeted, “a cancer patient.”

People were up in arms, you see, because Garnett was clearly playing off the fact that Villanueva has alopecia, a rare disease that leaves him hairless and, to a guy who likes to spew insensitive trash talk on the basketball court, looking like someone going through cancer treatment. Everyone has been attacking Garnett, so we’ve tried to come up with some ways to help KG rehabilitate his image. Motivational posters didn’t work? How about apology t-shirts?

We’ll donate the proceeds to charity. I’m sure we can think of a few.

Kevin Garnett Needs Some PR Help. Introducing KG Motivational Posters

Kevin Garnett is taking some heat today for his comments calling Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva a “cancer patient” as part of his in-game trash talk. So, let the PR spin begin. Here’s a new motivational poster for Team Garnett, just in time for the holidays.

Before you get all “oh my God  you jerk, cancer isn’t funny” on me, keep this in mind. Cancer isn’t funny. Cancer is never funny. But making fun of a guy who put his foot in his mouth by saying something stupid — even if that something stupid is telling a guy with alopecia he has cancer — is always funny.

And while Garnett clearly did put his giant foot in his even bigger mouth, it was said in a far different context than any of us are used to. It’s still an inexcusable addition to his trash-talk repertoire, but as the Denver Post reported today, even cancer survivor George Karl understands that things said in the heat of the game can’t always be taken literally.

So philosophically, if Kevin and I were close friends, I’dREAD MORE

Brett Favre’s Wrangler Commercials Are Real, Comfortable & Off NFL Telecasts

Brett Favre hasn’t had the best few weeks. Despite beating the Dallas Cowboys to keep the Vikings season afloat this weekend, his Monday probably isn’t going as great as the gunslinger had hoped. Per Darren Rovell of CNBC, Favre’s Wrangler Jeans ads are being removed from NFL Telecasts.

He just went and got pantsed, dog gone’it.

Okay,  I’m even pretty grossed out by this. Particulars per Rovell:

Something clearly changed this past weekend, as Wrangler either replaced the Favre spots with spots using its other high-profile spokesman Dale Earnhardt Jr. or ran the Favre spots on niche channels.

The Favre Wrangler spot, which had been in heavy rotation, only ran ten total times on Sunday on smaller niche channels including Versus, FX, Speed and the History Channel. Not a single Favre Wrangler ad aired on an NFL broadcast, according to Front Row Analytics, a sponsorship evaluation firm.

Look, it’s not the greatest Photoshop we’ve ever done, but this was too easy NOT to do. Here’s hoping Sacha Baron Cohen’s next mocumentary comes in the form of an aging quarterback. OrREAD MORE

Jay Mariotti Out of Hot Water in L.A. Or Into Hotter Water?

A report in the Beverly Hills Courier made its way across the internet today with news that the Los Angeles County DA office has “declined to pursue a criminal case” against Jay Mariotti. Out of trouble? Hardly.

As Sports by Brooks noted, the matter is now being handed off to the Los Angeles CITY District Attorney’s office. Brooks drops the local knowledge:

This news explains why Mariotti’s mugshot and police report has not previously been made available to the public. Though he was arrested in Venice, which is L.A.P.D.’s jurisdiction, the L.A. Sheriff’s Dept. actually reached him first on the night in question and turned the case over to the L.A. County District Attorney. (I live a half-mile away from where Mariotti was arrested.)

L.A. County elected to not make information about the case, which has been pending since August 21, available to the public. That policy regarding public information may change once L.A. City takes over the case.

Mariotti is scheduled to appear in L.A. Superior Court on September 17th but methinks if they let a certainREAD MORE

Greatest MLS Promotion Ever? Shout it Out Loud!

If you live in Dallas and you’re not going to this event, I don’t even want to speak to you.

FC Dallas is offering a promotion to see Rock N the Park AND their match against Red Bull New York for only FORTY BUCKS. According to their Rock and Roll themed online flyer (below) that’s $80 in savings.

Who, pray tell is playing Rock N The Park this year? Let’s see…shitty band, shitty band, American Idol contestant, shitty band….KISS!!!! Yes, KISS is playing Dallas and for $40 you get to Rock and Roll all night one day AND party watch soccer every day all night!

Plus, if you plan to go to one FC Dallas match this year, wouldn’t it be to see Thierry Henry play?

Get. Tickets. Now.